Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Be careful what you ask for?

It was Thursday, January 15, 2004. My Creative Visualization group was meeting and we wrote down a list of things that we wanted to eliminate from our lives. Those who wanted to could share some of the entries on their list. S mentioned that she wanted to eliminate the need to work for her employer. I liked that! I told S that I was going to be a copycat and add that to my list along with eliminating celibacy. She did not object.

After the meeting, we went out in J's backyard and fired up the chimenera. We set our elimination list on fire and watched the sparks fly and the smoke rise.

It was Friday, January 23, 2004. I got fired.

First, I reacted in anger, then I was hopeful. (All within the course of about 2 hours.) Then I took a nap and when I woke up, I was in despair. All of my chattering monkeys had come out of the woodwork to scream in my ear about what a loser I was. They were saying some mighty ugly and hurtful things to me, them monkeys! I basically just laid back and let it all flow over me in defeat. "Yes, you are right, I am everything you say I am and worse."

Before I fell into my deep well of despair, I had sent an email out to everyone in my address book letting them know that I was in the market for a job, and asking them for their prayers.

Apparently, they listened. I got a lot of emails with advice and good thoughts and prayers. I got a lot of phone calls, again filled with advice and good thoughts and prayers. Then this morning I started feeling better - just out of the blue.

Friday night, in the depths of my despair, I was letting the monkey's mock me with, "Be careful what you ask for, Joan! You just might get it!" Tonight, I sit here a lot more hopeful, and I'm having faith that this experience will be a blessing. I haven't liked my job for a long time and had been giving lip service to getting another job for quite some time. I do believe that I've been given a nudge to get out of the dead end job and get on to something else, and that something else will be wonderful.

Friends, please continue to send me your good thoughts and prayers. I am always sending you mine.

The only other question I have is this: If the universe responded so quickly to my request to eliminate the need to work for my employer, does this mean that I'm going to get laid soon because I asked to eliminate celibacy? That would sure take my mind off of being unemployed! ;-)


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