Thursday, March 18, 2004

This is a love letter to my sister

When I was itty bitty, I adored my sister. I thought she was the coolest thing in the whole wide world.

We had our differences of course, as sisters do. We fought over what we thought were extremely important things. She once knocked me off a barstool because I got the "pretty" spoon to eat my cereal with. I learned to like dark meat chicken because after Mom and Dad, she got what was left of the white meat.

We lived in a cute little house in Ft. Worth on Piedmont Rd. One Spring we had a lot of nighttime thunderstorms, and I was always running to Mom and Dad's bed for comfort. Finally they had enough and told me I was not to come running to their bed that night. Inevitably the storms came and I was scared to death. I walked up to Mom and Dad's door but then remembering what I had been told, turned away. Where could I go? I couldn't be alone during this storm! Ah ha! Sissy's room! I tip toed into her room and woke her up. She rolled over and made room for me and feeling safe and secure with my sister, I went right to sleep.

The next morning, Mom and Dad woke up realizing that despite the storm, I hadn't bothered them that night. They looked in my room - I wasn't there. They looked in the bathroom - I wasn't there. Nope, not in the kitchen or the back yard either. Panic began to set in and they went to wake up my sister to get her to help look for me. They opened the door and saw both of us were sound asleep in her bed.

When she was 11 and I was 4, circumstances that are too long to explain here, kept us from each other for 10 very long years. During that time apart, I would find our family pictures and lay in the floor and look at them. They were evidence that I did have a sister. Someone who played Barbies with me (I still have a secret fascination with Barbies) and who drew smiley faces. (I love smiley faces to this day) I wanted my Sissy back so bad.

Then, for circumstances that are again too long to explain here, all of the pictures were lost. It was like I lost my sister all over again. All evidence of her was gone. I was absolutely devastated.

Fast forward to when we were finally reunited. This beautiful 21 year old redhead came to the door and I knew who she was immediately. My heart was beating so hard! I opened the door and she asked for our Mom. I let her in and kind of stood there not knowing what to say. I finally said, "Your M, right?" She said yes. I said, "I'm J!" We just kind of looked at each other for a second, not really knowing what to do or say. Thus was the beginning of the second part of our lives.

Fast forward again. M got married, had my beautiful nephew, and unfortunately divorced. She was living with husband #2, and Mom and I had gone to their house for a visit. We were sitting on the back porch talking. M had gone to another part of the house and had come back and just threw something in front of me on the table. I casually looked down and saw that it was a picture of her and I in Easter dresses when we were little girls. It was the only picture that remained of her and I when we were kids in the whole wide world. I burst into tears. Mom and M looked at each other not really understanding why I was suddenly bawling. However to me, she had just thrown something more precious than gold to me. Validation of the memory of when I was itty bitty, I adored my sister.

I love you, Sissy.


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