Saturday, March 20, 2004

This is what happens...

...when you get 4 guys and a girl with a gutful of sugar and coffee sitting around a coffee house:

She opened her legs - gasping with anticipation. His heat-seeking member zeroed in on her hole o' love. All of a sudden the phone rang. It was his mother. She told him she was very disappointed that he would spend time with a whore of Babylon like her. He should come because water was leaking from her stovepipe. The tornado must have caused it, she said. He thought this was odd since his mother had been dead for 10 years having been killed in the big one of '93. He wondered to himself, "Where the heck did this darned horsefly come from??" He wandered outdoors - still naked from the waist down. He stared intently at a Chevy truck and thought he might escape, but then a sheep wandered up and said, "Do you have any Grey Poupon?" He turned to the sheep, "Who am I?" "You're a very bad boy, Theodore. Why did you leave the wading boots at home?" It's a hot, tawdry night and I'm in the mood for miniature golf. But where can I go with this damn "terminal" erection, anyway. Not anyplace like that. OUCH, shit, another damn piercing. When did that happen? "I'm going to have to lay off the sangria. 3 genital piercings are enough - then again, I kind of enjoy the guards down at the courthouse frisking me when I set off the metal detector." The COURTHOUSE!! He suddenly remembered - he ran to the aforementioned Chevy Truck and motored frantically to the aforementioned courthouse. He leaped out of the truck hearing the familiar "clink clink clink" of his genital piercings. Then he was intrigued by Burger King's low carb menu. He, also known as Zerkel 627, zipped through the drive through. "I'd like a tofosnooti and a big orange drink." When he tried to pay at the window and asked for extra ketchup, the ghetto-fabulous Burger King employee attacked him with her 8 inch nails and sucked his soul. She entered his soul and drove to Waffle House to show this to her big cocked daddy, PN Twatty. He wasn't there so she returned to work, manning the drive thru. Later she moved to fries and was hit by a bus. THE END.

No drugs or alcohol were involved in the writing of the above story. No animals or small children were hurt during the writing of the above story. Any resemblance of the above story to your story (and God help you if it does resemble it) is purely coincidental.


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