Tuesday, July 06, 2004

From the desk of Shelby the Cat

My human, Joan, is suffering from a writer's block and asked that I fill in for her today. She's doing fine, but just couldn't think of anything interesting to say. It doesn't surprise me because she rarely has anything interesting to say to me.

Normally I perch myself on top of my human's computer. When I'm not tormenting her by putting my tail right in the middle of the screen or waving it back and forth, I occasionally read some of what she is looking at. It's a special talent we cat's have to be able to read human language upside down.

There are some of you that do not understand human's do not have cats in their household, but rather cat's have human's in their household. Despite popular belief, occassionally we do like our humans. However mostly it's just toleration. For instance, my human likes to snatch me up, hold me close to her body and kiss my ear. I do not like this! If I did not initiate the contact, I do not want my human to touch me. When I do initiate contact, my human sometimes has the gall to put me down or push me away. She is so insolent!

Fred, the other cat that lives here, is older than I am - in fact, she's older than dirt. She's cranky, too! Just because I chase her through the house she turns and hisses at me! Sometimes I'll be showing Fred my butt, like any self respecting cat should, and she reaches out and swats me! On top of all that, Fred LOVES being touched by our human. She makes a big production out of purring and stuff. She's such a suck up!

Once when I was younger, there was another human that lived with us. She has darker fur than Joan does. She doesn't live with us any more. I sometimes wonder where she went. Maybe she'll come to visit someday. If she does, I shall punish her for leaving by ignorning her. Insolent human!

Well, I've grown bored with you humans. It's time for me to groom my beautiful fur and take a nap. I've only slept 12 hours so far today and I need to catch up.

The human Joan will be check in with you soon.



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