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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Substitute People 

I just got through watching "Elizabethtown" on DVD. I had heard that reviews for the movie were not so good, but I still had an interest in it.

Let me stop right here to interject that I think Orlando Bloom is one of the most handsome men I've seen in a long time. My God he is a gorgeous specimen of man! Whew!

...But I digress...

I enjoyed the movie. I could relate to a lot of it. The part that stuck out to me most was the concept Kirsten Dunst's character brought up of "Substitute People." A person who is wonderful and all, but is just a substitute for someone else - maybe someone that you settle for.

When she said that, there was a resounding "click" in my head. WOW! Someone has finally verbalized how I have felt my entire life. It as both exhilarating and sad at the same time.

I take responsibility for my feeling that way. I know I have downgraded myself so that people naturally put me in the "substitute person" role. It comes from years and years and years of my having the self esteem of a gnat.

However now that I am knocking on 40's door, I've finally taken a look around and decided that being me ain't so bad - in fact, it's pretty cool. In addition, life is too damn short (case in point, my previous post) to be allowing myself to be anything other than the one, the only Joan!!! Substitute, hell! I am the original and I am fabulous - today - just how I am - in my pajamas in front of the computer with my hair going 87 different directions and my fingers orange from eating Cheetos! I AM JOAN! HEAR ME ROAR!

From this day forward, I'm going to shrug off the shroud of being anyone's substitute person. From this day forward, only those that love and admire the original person I am will be given room in my heart and mind.

...and it's about damn time, huh?

:-)
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