Monday, October 30, 2006

Helpful Halloween Tips 

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if it's really dead. It isn't.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement or attic, especially if the power is out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that
they should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save
you much grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds
to kill them, so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who
speaks with someone else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule
also applies to any other house of the dead.

8. If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and
find out that it was just the cat, get the hell out. Expeditiously.

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for
short circuits. Leave the area immediately.

10. Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like
it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.

11. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down
at least twice--more if you are female. Also note that despite the
fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania,
Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in
Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small
town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go
to the nearby deserted-looking house to use the telephone. If you
think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you
had most of a tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die
anyway and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple
guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers,
butane torches, soldering irons, and ice picks.

18. If you discover that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is
the time to move in with the in-laws. This rule also applies to
homes whose previous inhabitants went mad, committed suicide or
died in some other horrible fashion.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Element - Crab

Freakin' Hil-lair-ee-us!!!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Memories at 45 RPM 

For my birthday this year, I got a total of $100 worth of ITunes cards. 4 months later, I'm about to use them all up. HOWEVER, Christmas is coming up and there is hope for more ITunes Cards! (Hint! Hint!)

...but I digressed...

Last week I found a gem that I had on a 45 RPM record when I was a kid: "Thunder Island" by Jay Ferguson. When I listened to the snippet of "Thunder Island" to make sure it was the version I remembered, I was instantly transported back to a much more innocent time.

When I was in what I believe was the 4th grade, I had a boyfriend named Dusty. He was a cute freckle faced boy that made me laugh. Unfortunately, he was sent to Boys Town, TX for a reason that was unknown to me and I didn't see him for at least a year, if not longer. I wrote him letters, but when I didn't hear from him, I quit writing.

I remember when I heard that he was back from Boys Town. My stomach got all tingly at the thought of seeing him again. Would he be my boyfriend again? Dad let me tag along while he was visiting a friend that happened to live in the same neighborhood that Dusty lived in. Dusty came over to the house and we went out to the boat dock on the lake to talk and watch the sun set. I remember laying on my stomach and having one of those chance times when I looked in his direction and suddenly our lips met. A very sweet and tender kiss.

"Thunder Island" was all over the radio at this time, so it's easy for me to associate this song with that very sweet memory. Now I have that memory on my IPod so I can relive it anytime I want, and maybe - just maybe - create a new sweet memory to associate with it.

What song from your growing up years makes you smile when you hear it, and why?


Saturday Funnies 

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.

He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and

Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!".

Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $5
Red Rose bud - $3
Two aspirins - $0.25
Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless


The End of an Era 

Hapeville, a 'burb South of Atlanta was home to a Ford plant that, in recent years, specialized in making the Ford Taurus.

Today, the plant closed and 2000 people are out of a job. The plant had been open for 60 years.

Despite this very sad news, there were a couple of nice stories that came out. The first was a man on his way to his last day of work at the Ford Plant stopped for gas and won $225,000 playing the lottery!

The second was an Atlanta icon saluting what the Ford employees have done for him. Truett Cathy, founder of Chik-Fil-A restaurants, asked if he could buy the last car made at the Hapeville Ford Plant. When Chik-Fil-A was still a "chick," the Ford employees loved visiting his nearby restaurant, and Mr.Cathy feels that those people helped make Chik-Fil-A the multi-million dollar institution it is today.

My thoughts and prayers are with the folks that suddenly have a lot of free time on their hands. I hope your severance packages were good and that new and better jobs are on their way to you.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

(RED) Campaign 

If you feel so led, I hope you'll click the above (RED) banner that I added. I think it's a very clever idea to get people excited about contributing to a very worthy cause by getting them excited about shopping!

I almost gave in and bought one of the limited edition Red IPod Nano's, but I didn't.

If you are not feeling like feeding into the whole consumerism thing, then you might consider "Keep A Child Alive." As well as donating directly to that cause, you can download a copy of Alicia Keys and Bono singing a version of "Don't Give Up" and the proceeds go to the charity.

As we begin to enter into the holidays, don't forget to be thankful for what you have and give back to the world. I am a firm believer in that which you give away comes back to you ten-fold.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Feel me! Touch me! Need me! 

....or something like that.

In my head I'm singing that song by The Who from Tommy. I'm not sure if it translates well. But anyway...

I have a problem. I need validation. I need acknowledgment. I want you to notice me. Let me entertain you - let me make you smile.

I was talking to Jef the other day about how it really is distressing to me when no one comments on my blog or my pictures on Flickr. Why? Why do I care what John or Jane Q. Public thinks of my blog or pictures?

Here's the kicker: I'm not that great of a commenter when I look at someone else's blog or pictures on Flickr. I may think to myself, "Betty," (because that's what I like to call myself) "that is one fine blog entry and/or picture." However do I take the time to let the person know that I thought that? Not often.

Logically I know I have no room to whine, but still...I want you to love me, damn it! And I want you to tell me that love me, too!

(Heavy sigh!)


Monday, October 16, 2006

Feeling a little stressed? 



Friday, October 13, 2006

The Yahoo Time Capsule: One World. Many Voices. 

Have you heard about this yet? It's very cool to contribute something, or just to look what others have contributed.

To me, it's interesting to see what is important to all sorts of different people all over the world.

I made this contribution to the capsule in honor of my Mom. She's been physically gone for 10 years this month. I wanted to do something to commemorate that as well as honor my sister and nephew.

I also made this contribution, just because it's one of my all time favorite quotes.

If you decide to contribute, I hope you'll share!


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ma-na Ma-na!


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