Saturday, January 26, 2008

Closing in on 100 pounds!! 

Yesterday's weigh in put me at 98.7 pounds eliminated! I must admit I'm feeling pretty awesome about that!

This has been a really good week, but a really hard week as well. (Why is it that short weeks notoriously happen that way?) Work was crazy - I won't go into details but I had a call that I lost my cool on and my boss levitated out of her cube and whispered very loudly "GIVE ME THE CALL!" That is an EXTREMELY rare occurrence and I feel bad about it, but the claimant I was speaking to had tap danced on my last nerve in 5 inch stiletto heels.

On the really positive side though, I had to order myself a new bathing suit for water aerobics because I'm shrinking out of my other ones. (AGAIN!) While I was ordering my suit, I noticed they had jeans on sale. I looked at them and thought, "What the hell? If they don't fit, I'll send 'em back." I got the package on Thursday while I was at work and was so excited I went to the conference room across from my desk and tried them on. THEY FIT! AND THEY LOOK GOOD! (other people that I trust to tell me the truth said they did!) So now I am the proud owner of 2 pairs of jeans!

Now, most people who know me have never actually seen me in jeans because I have not worn them since early college. I'm a long way from being the size I was in college, but since the late 80's they have finally started making stuff for "Big Girls" that looks good.

Thursday night I went with friends to the Indigo Girls concert in Athens. It was at the Classic Center, which is a really nice facility. To get to our seats, we had climb a couple of flights of stairs and I did a happy dance in my head when I realized that after climbing those stairs, I wasn't winded! Then we went in and sat down for the show and I did another happy dance in my head because I fit comfortably in my seat and I didn't feel like I was encroaching on the space of the people I was sitting next to. I know that may seem kind of weird to you folks that have never had a serious weight problem, but those are really big milestones for those of us who do!!!

The Indigo Girls show was really cool, as usual. Brandi Carlisle opened for them and it was cool to hear her "non-single" stuff.

So I got home from the show about 2:35am, was in bed by 3:00am, turned the alarm off at 7:00am and was at work a little after 8:00am. OY VEY! I worked until 2:15pm and then went to Emory for my doctor's visit/group session and was back at work by 6:00pm and worked until 10:00pm. I called a friend on the way home and she was the unwitting recipient of my grouchiness. Fortunately, I think she understood that it was not Joan speaking to her but Oscar the Grouch and she got off the phone very quickly. (I'm Sorry, G!)

So now I've had 9 hours of sleep and the possibility of a nap in my future and Oscar the Grouch has slunk back to his trash can and I am in full control. LOL!

I hope wherever you are you are enjoying your weekend!

Peace Love and Happiness!

Goldilocks and Psycho Killer in the early '80's 

Once upon a time there were 2 little girls who met on the bus when they were 8. One day when they were in high school and old enough to drive (15-17 years old) They drove to Ridgmar Mall in the big city of Ft. Worth, TX and decided to get another hole in their ears to keep the ones they got when they were 9 company. After completing this task (which Psycho Killer now remembers as being MUCH more painful than the first set of holes and therefore does not have the 2nd holes anymore) they walked down to Woolworth's and decided to commemorate the occasion on film.
These pictures capture that moment in time.
Here's to 32 years of friendship, Goldilocks! I love you and appreciate you very much!
And to quote The Beatles "Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64?"
Peace Love and Happiness!


Monday, January 21, 2008

Today we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

I invite you to listen to his famous speech in it's entirety.

Peace Love and Happiness.


Bleah! :-p 

I came home after my hair appointment on Saturday and knew I would be in the house at least until midday on Sunday, but here I am on Monday at 11:45am and I still have not cracked my front door.


I've done all my chores, watched countless movies, read all the magazines in my house and tried to make plans with several people to no avail.


I have got to get out of the house, so I'm off to see "Charlie Wilson's War" this afternoon and then over the Border's to browse. How sad to actually be looking forward to going back to work tomorrow!

Peace Love and Happiness!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

WINTER STORM 2008! (insert dramatic music here) 

It's snowing! Here in Georgia! More than just a few flakes! People are going out of the their mind and of course it's egged on by the media breaking into regularly scheduled programming for a "WINTER STORM 2008 UPDATE!" complete with dramatic music.

I got up this morning and went to get my "hair did." As I got in the car at 9:30, it started to sleet, however the temperature was a balmy 37* so I wasn't concerned. I got to the the Salon and apparently many people had cancelled their hair appointments so Alton, my stylist extraordinaire, was happier than usual to see me.

As he worked on my hair, it started to snow and by the time he was done and I was walking out to my car, I had to clear snow off my car before I could leave!

I ran some errands and by the time I got home and took this picture it was 2:00pm. Not a bad amount of snow for 3.5 hours here in the South, huh?

I'm sure you Northern folks just laugh about us panicky Southerners, but hey! It doesn't happen often!

So here I sit listening to "In Rainbows" by Radiohead (my new favorite album, by the way!) and sipping on some Tomato Soup as I look out the back sliding glass door and watch the snow fall.

What a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon!

Peace Love and Happiness!


92.2 Pounds Lost 

I lost 3.5 pounds last week. I'm feeling pretty good about that, but I must admit that I'm having a low day.

I thought I felt better after my group session today and after talking to my sister, but in reality, perhaps I need to just feel what I feel. I do need to make sure that I don't stay here in this low place.

Part of the reason that I'm feeling blue is that I finally reached the milestone of being the same weight I was when my Mom was still alive. It's a great thing, but at the same time, it's sad too.

When I was 28, my Aunt T and Uncle Ed offered to help me out by letting me stay with them while I looked for a real job (read: not retail) and dug myself out of a financial hole.

I was just on the cusp of feeling like I was getting to where I could be independent, when Mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. At that time, Mom thought she would be able to get herself to and from her treatments and remain independent, but soon after we found out the cancer had already moved to the brain and driving was out of the question. I quit my job and moved in with her.

Now, please know that I'm not trying to make myself out to be some great martyr and have people think that I was this great daughter for making this sacrifice. I was far, far, far from even thinking about being within the vicinity of the same solar system from being a great daughter. However, after carrying around a lot of guilt for that, I've finally had to make peace with the fact that I did the best I could considering the excruciatingly horrible situation we were in.

So since 1996, I ate myself through Mom's illness and death, through moving to a new town where I only knew one other person, through a couple of really hard and unhealthy relationships, through the death of my Dad, through 9/11/01 and through 15 months of unemployment. Eating your way though all of that, my friends, is the way to gain 90 pounds.

But I lost those 90 pounds (92.2 pounds to be exact!) and I truly am very proud of myself for having accomplished that. I still have a lot of weight yet to lose, but I feel that I will be successful in losing that weight, too. I may love and adore food, but I hated being as big as I was even more.

So here I am today reflecting on the fact that I'm back to square one. I really want to look at this as an extremely liberating and empowering time, and I will. However today I'm back in the shoes of a 28 year old girl (I don't think I had graduated to being a woman yet back then) and feeling the insecurity that comes with asking yourself, "Now what?"

That 28 year old girl was trying so hard to not grow up to be her Dad: A lovable and fun, but extremely unreliable and irresponsible person. At the same time, she was trying hard not to end up like her Mom: Smiling on the outside but devastatingly disappointed with her life on the inside.

That girl wasn't real sure what she wanted, but she knew she was tired of not being able to afford to have a phone and only having $5.00-10.00 a week for groceries.

I think that I need to briefly feel sad for that 28 year old girl, and when I'm done, then I need to leave her behind and continue moving forward. Who knows what might have happened if circumstances had been different? I can't afford the luxury of dwelling on that too long. I do know that I learned some extremely valuable lessons in the last 12 years, and as most of you that know me well know, I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Peace Love and Happiness.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

88.7 Pounds Eliminated! 

I had my first weigh in yesterday after having not been to the clinic since 12/27/07. I skipped a week when I went to my sisters 1/3/08 - 1/7/08.

At my last weigh in I was 78.7 pounds eliminated and I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks! YAY!

I'm so fortunate that my weight loss is still averaging 5 lbs a week! My doctor is very pleased and proud and dagumit! So am I!

Woo Hoo!

Peace Love and Happiness!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Life is a Megapixel 

My uber talented sister is blogging again. She has created a new blog and is going to be concentrating on her photography.
Is this the last of "Ramblings of a Redhead?" Who knows? In the meantime, I would encourage you to check her out here.
Peace Love and Happiness!


Tuesday, January 08, 2008

How It All Ends 

This was sent to me by one of the smartest men I know!

This guy is really good at explaining info that might normally make your eyes glaze over.

In my humble opinion, it's definitely worth the time to listen to it and ponder what is said.

Peace Love and Happiness!


Saturday, January 05, 2008

Hiking: The New Frontier 

Seaster wrote me an email before I came to visit that said that they were thinking of going hiking when I was here and would I be OK with that? It's a real easy hike! I wrote back that I was OK with that.
There was much debate on when we were going as we've had quite a cold front come through the Southeast, but finally, B-I-L aimed the Hummer toward Pilot Mountain and the decision was made we were going.
We got there and the first thing we did was encounter rock stairs. Now those of you that know me know that I don't care much for stairs. My depth perception really sucks. However my gallant B-I-L offered me his arm and we slowly made it down the myriad of stairs.
Now granted, I have lost 80+ pounds, but I'm still a big, out of shape girl. I'm getting smaller and more in shape, but I still have a way to go. So this moderate hiking trail ranked as strenuous for me. However the family was patient with me and even hooted and hollered when I finally made it back up the myriad of stairs and even made me pose for pictures next to the trail head.
It was a tough bit of exercise for me, but my family was proud of me for finishing it and most importantly, I was proud of myself for finishing it.
Perhaps after I lose another 80lbs we can tackle the strenuous trail...!
Here's to more challenges overcome in the New Year!
Peace, Love and Happiness!


Thursday, January 03, 2008

Musical Memories 

I was driving today and listening to music. I recently downloaded all of my Sting collection onto my IPod and I was enjoying "Ten Summoners Tales." It made me think of and old boyfriend who really loved Sting. He loved him so much that when the CD "The Soul Cages" came out and Entertainment Weekly panned it, he wrote a very angry letter and canceled his subscription. I loved that he felt so passionately about that! So, Sting will forever make me think of that boyfriend.

After my sister left "The Bastard," (aka husband #2), my sister, nephew and I took a trip at Christmas time to Key West. We were motoring over "Seven Mile Bridge" and U2's "Beautiful Day" came on and we all sang at the top of our lungs. It was a beautiful day - not only because we were together in this beautiful place, but also because my sister was starting a new, more wonderful chapter of her life after having been stifled so long while with "The Bastard." We all felt a sense of relief and happiness as a result.

"Turtle" by Alana Davis will always remind me of road trips with my roommate between her grandmother's house and Atlanta. When we were together in the car with the music going, it was always a good thing because we both love music so much and felt that comfortableness that people feel when they can sing at the top of their lungs without being self conscious about it.

Jef and I have known each other for 20 years. Early on in our friendship, we were running amok in Ft. Worth and decided to stop for some TCBY yogurt. We sat in his car eating our yogurt as a the sun came out after raining all day. "Storms in Africa" from Enya's Watermark CD was on and I think I'm safe in saying that made a wonderfully simple memory for both of us.

What music or song makes you think of certain person or time? I hope you'll share!

Peace, Love and Happiness!


Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year's Day Walkabout 

I was sitting at home watching TV and occasionally surfing the net on this cold but beautiful day. I got a call from Seaster and B-I-L as they were on their way to the airport to pick up my nephew, Eric.

Seaster said something to the effect that what I do today will be what I'm doing the remainder of the year. I didn't want to be home alone watching TV and occasionally surfing the net for the remainder of the year. I want to be out in the world enjoying it and moving around!

I finished the movie I was watching and herded the "girls" into a bra and out into the world I went with my camera.

It was cold and windy and at some point I lost the feeling in my face, but I'm so glad I went out and got some fresh air as well as starting out the New Year enjoying the world and moving around.
If you'd like to see the rest of the set, feel free to go here.

Peace, Love and Happiness!


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