Conversations With A Woman 2.0

I am very pleased with the big winners of the Oscar's. I haven't seen "Million Dollar Baby" yet, but you can bet I'm going to as soon as possible!

I am SO glad that Jamie Foxx won for best actor. I haven't seen "Ray" either, but just from a humbleness point of view, I think he is great! His acceptance speeches at both the People's Choice and the Oscar's got me teary eyed. In addition, I really enjoyed his portion of the "Barbra Walter's Special."

OK...I am female and I LOVE me some men, but DAMN! Did Hillary Swank have the best body for that drop dead gorgeous dress? Whew!

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...and now for something completely different...a shameless plug for myself! ;-)

Most of you that read this blog know that I've been out of work since late January 2004. It has been by the grace of God and a lot of really wonderful friends and family that I have been able to keep my head above water financially. Some of you had suggested that I add a Pay Pal donation button on my site for anyone that might feel compelled to want to help out. I resisted this for quite a while, but finally gave in over the weekend. So, if you feel led to donate some money to me, please feel free to do so and know that I will be eternally grateful.

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Thanks to those of you that chimed in on the "jacking off" question I posed on my last post. I really was curious and not trying to just be shocking. I promise!

Take care everyone and have a wonderful week and a great start to March!

:-)
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I'm sitting at my desk in my totally quiet apartment listening to the rumbling of thunder in the distance. There is something very comforting about it, which is really ironic since I used to be so scared of storms as a kid.

Whenever I am especially stressed out, I will have dreams of being in a tornado. If you were to ask me what my biggest fear is, it would be tornadoes. I grew up in Texas and very fortunately, never had to be in one. I was always close, but never actually in the midst of one. I guess it's the lack of control that a person has when they are in a tornado that makes it so scary for me. It's all up to chance on if your house will be picked up and thrown around, or if the tornado will jump over your house and demolish your neighbor's house.

I also find that I am drawn to those documentaries on The Weather Channel about tornadoes. I'll be flipping channels and see a tornado go by and back up to watch the show.

When I was a kid in Texas, my family and I at a house on top of a mesa. It was after dark and there was a storm coming towards us. In Texas, you can see storms many miles before they actually are over you. We were sitting outside watching this wonderful light show of lightening that nature was giving us. Someone had turned on some classical music that seemed to be a soundtrack of the lightening. It was really amazing to see and still sticks in my mind to this day.

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I was talking to a friend of mine today who said that he never jacked off until after he was out of high school. I was incredulous!!! I thought that all guys did that as soon as they figured out that their penis could be used for something other than peeing. We don't talk about it as much, but women that I know do the same thing. What are your thoughts on the subject?

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How cool to have received a lovely letter from JC today! Thank you, JC! I am glad that the internet brought you into my life, too!

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I have added two additions to my blogroll. Sam over at "Madlife" took a hiatus for a while and has decided to start blogging again. Welcome back, Sam! Sam is from Texas and shares with his readers his thoughts on just about everything in addition to the trials and tribulations of being a young gay man in the world.

Thomas over at "Heads or Tales" is a very talented writer in my opinion. In addition to everyday posts about life, love and the pursuit of happiness, he throws in some very hot and saucy erotic tales from time to time. Ladies - Thomas LOVES women and women's bodies. Your eyes might burn from the heat that comes from his stories! Whew!

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I went to see "Finding Neverland" this evening. Oh! What a beautiful and sweet story. The boy that played Peter was just amazing and he made me cry. If you haven't seen it yet, I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

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I was talking to my oldest friend on the phone today. We are incredibly different, but I love her dearly. I admire her for many reasons that are too numerous to name here. She mentioned today that she didn't think that I thought good things of her when we were growing up. She didn't say it in a whiney way, as that's definitely not her way, but rather in a matter-of-fact way. That made me sad because as much as I hate to admit it, when we were teenagers, I didn't think very good things of her.

Looking back now I see that a lot of it probably had to do with my being jealous of her. She had qualities then that I still struggle to attain for myself today. She never gave a damn what people thought of her. She always knew what she wanted, went after it and attained it. She knew she was worthy of all the good things that came her way.

Andrea - please forgive my younger self for the things she thought. Please know that I admire you and that I love you. I'm so glad that you have been my friend for almost 30 years and I look forward to many, many more years.

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Sex and the City is coming on so I'm off to check in on Carrie and the girls. I hope you have a great rest of the week!

:-)
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Thank you to those of you that missed me. It has been a while since I've blogged. I've been sickly (nothing serious) and have just not felt very much like blogging.

I've shamelessly stolen the following from my new friend Thomas at "Heads or Tales."

[ series 1 - you ]

-- real name: Joan
-- name you go by: Joan, but it's pronounced "Jo Ann"
-- nickname: Jo
-- birthplace: Dallas, TX
-- birthdate: July 1, 1967
-- current location: Smyrna, GA
-- eye color: Hazel
-- hair color: Dark, dark brown with an ever increasing amount of grey mixed in.
-- righty or lefty: Righty
-- gf/bf: Only in my dreams
-- zodiac sign: Cancer

[ series 2 - your favorite ]

-- music: Anything but gangsta rap
-- cartoons: Looney Tunes, Sponge Bob Squarepants or Power Puff Girls
-- food: Chocolate
-- drink: Diet Coke
-- color: Three way tie between turquoise, purple and yello
-- magazine: "O"
-- tv show: Gilmore Girls
-- movie: Sideways
-- cologne: Clinique "Happy" or Clinque "Aromatic Elixir"
-- weekend activity: Sleeping, going to the movie, going to the park, having sex
-- ice cream flavor: Just about anything with Chocolate in it

[ series 3 - what is ]

-- your most overused phrase: Alrighty
-- the first feature you notice in the same/opposite sex: eyes
-- your best feature: eyes or hair
-- your bedtime: varies between 10pm to 6am
-- your most missed memory: happy memories with my Mom

[ series 4 - do you ]

-- smoke: Nope
-- drink: Socially
-- do drugs: Nope
-- take a shower everyday?: Unless I did jack squat the day before
-- have a(any) crush(es)?: Of course... But I'm not telling...
-- like/d high school?: yes
-- want to get married?: yes
-- type with your fingers on the right keys?: yes
-- have any tattoos/where?: nope
-- have any piercings/where/#?: Yes/ears/one each
-- get motion sickness?: yes - riding in the backseat of a car

[ series 5 - are you ]

-- open-minded: Yes
-- insecure: Yes, but a lot less than I used to be
-- understanding: Yes
-- childish: I know you are, but what am I?
-- shy: Nope
-- independent: Mostly
-- responsible: for the most part
-- trusting: Depends on the person
-- talkative: I can be...I also like to just sit back and listen

[ series 6 - the future ]

-- age you hope to be married: by 40 would be nice
-- number of children: 2 cats
-- describe your dream wedding place: on the beach at Sanibel Island, Florida at sunset
-- what do you want to be when you grow up? the best person I can be

[ series 7 - [same/opposite sex ]

-- what do you look for: Intelligence, sense of humor, ability to be serious or silly.
-- short or long hair: Both
-- best height: Any, however since I am tall, I'd prefer someone over 5'10"
-- best weight: Healthy is more important than weight
-- best articles of clothing: Boxer Breifs

[ series 8 - random ]

-- when's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal?: Every night when my cat gets through grazing
-- how many rings until you answer the phone?: I'm bad about not answering the phone at all.
-- what's on your mouse pad?: Babies in a teacup kissing. (Hey! It was free!)
-- how many houses have you lived in? I am a nomad - too many to count!
-- how many schools have you gone to? I am a nomad - too many to count!
-- would you shave your head for $5,000 dollars?: After a few shots of tequila - why the hell not? It'll grow back!

:-)
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I was reminded of this story by MrBob over at "Just a Middle-Aged Guy." He wrote a story about his youngest son when he was a kid and an enraged gaggle of geese. (Check it out! It's a cute story!)

When I was 9 or 10, my Dad got me about 10 of those dyed Easter chicks for me for Easter. My Mom was livid! "Damn it, Jim! Don't you know chicks grow up to be full grown chickens that require food and water?"

Lo and behold, almost all of the chicks made it to maturity. It was by the luck of the draw that I had a pair of about 3 different breeds of chickens. We used an old dog pen to make a coop for them and we had 3 different colored eggs to choose from for breakfast: Brown, Green and Blue.

Every once in a while, I would let the chickens into the yard to peck around. I went out to get the Sunday paper that was dropped on the curb in a clear plastic bag. When I came back in the fence, I noticed that one of the roosters had one of the hens in the dog house and he appeared to be hurting her because she was squawking up a storm! I had not yet learned that chickens can be quite vocal when they are mating.

I took the Sunday paper in the clear plastic bag and started beating on the roof of the dog house to get the rooster to quit hurting the hen. After about 3 whacks, the rooster charged out of the dog house and started running after me. He would run a few yards, and then leap up with his talons aimed right at the backs of my legs. I was running around the house and screaming, "MAMA!"

Mom came to the back screen door to see what I was carrying on about just about the time that I ran by screaming with the rooster right on my heels. "Mama! Open the door!"

The next time I had made it around to the back door, my Mom was doubled over laughing her head off. I started crying. "MAMA!!! OPEN THE DOOR! HE'S GONNA GET ME!"

Finally, after about the fourth or fifth time I passed the back door, she finally regained her composure enough to open the screen door for me and slam it back shut before the rooster got in the house.

I did not like my Mom very much that day.

:-)
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Here's an article from CNN about how folks have lost their jobs because they blogged about work. Another prime example is one of my favorite bloggers, the lovely and talented Heather at "Dooce." As a matter of fact, she blogged about having a news crew at her house last week due to her infamous firing as a result of her blog, and I want to say that it happened last year.

All of that is very interesting, but according to this article, I am (and you are too, if you blog) an "...affluent young adult." REALLY?!!? Wow!!! That's really exciting!

;-)
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As much as the media would like for me to be, I am not upset that it's Valentine's Day and I don't have a boyfriend or husband. Don't get me wrong - I would love to be involved with someone. It's been an embarrassingly long time since I've been in a relationship. However, I have learned that as much as I would like to, I cannot rush Mr. Right into existence. He will make his appearance at the exact right time and not a second before.

I was thinking about last Valentine's Day. I was at my sister's house. She had just moved to a new state, didn't know many people and was feeling kind of lonely, and I had just lost my job. We were in the living room watching TV and she was on her laptop looking at a picture of her future husband. She was mulling over the bio's of my future brother-in-law and someone else, and when she asked my opinion, I chose the other guy. Thank goodness she didn't listen to me! If she had, I wouldn't have had the honor of singing at her wedding last fall or gaining a new and wonderful family in the Captain and his kids and grandkids!

One of my favorite Valentine's stories was when I was dating Stan. Stan went to law school at UT Austin and came home a few weekends out of the month to visit his folks and work. That Valentine's Day, I made the trek to Austin for a romantic weekend visit.

I got to Austin and to Stan's apartment mid-afternoon. We spent the remainder of the afternoon saying "Hello." ;-) Saying "Hello" can work up quite and appetite, and Stan had made reservations for us at a really nice Italian restaurant called "Carmelo's." I had been on a low fat diet for quite a while and was looking forward to splurging that night.

The food was so good and the night was so romantic! I was so caught up in the romance that I can't remember what I ate, but it was in a cream sauce. After dinner, we strolled hand-in-hand down to get some ice cream. We made our way back to Stan's apartment and continued saying "Hello."

About 3am, I woke up feeling just awful. My stomach was churning and I knew I didn't have much time to get to the bathroom. I quietly slipped out of bed, made my way to the bathroom, shut the door and threw up. After weeks of being on a low fight diet, my body was rebelling against such a high fat dinner and dessert.

I was on all fours in front of the throne waiting to see if my body was finished punishing me. I heard tapping on the door:

Stan: Joan, are you alright?

Me: No. Not really.

(Long pause)

Stan: Do you need anything...a glass of water...?

Me: No, thank you.

(Even longer pause than before)

Stan: You do realize that's about $80.00 you put in the toilet, don't you?

I flushed, I stood up, I opened the door and pushed pass Stan, but not before shooting daggers at him with my eyes. I brushed my teeth and went back to bed with my back toward him and as far away from him as I could get.

It took a lot of groveling before I would consent to saying "Hello" to him in the morning.

:-)
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Jef called me this afternoon. I was in the other room and didn't make it to the phone. I listened to the message and heard in the tone of his voice and the way he said, "I have some important news to tell you" that I needed to call back right away.

Jef had received a phone call from a friend back in Texas that Chris had passed away in a freak accident involving a fall in the bathroom.

Chris was Jef's first live-in boyfriend. I started to write "partner" just now, but that is not really a good word to describe their relationship. Plus, back then, when we were in our early 20's, we didn't really use that word that much amongst ourselves.

When Jef and Chris lived in Arlington their house was the place where we congregated on the weekends. Often we would spend whole weekends together doing nothing but talking, watching videos, and traipsing all over the DFW area in quest of CD bargains.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Jef and I were going through some of my pictures and came across some that I had taken on a trip to the Water Gardens in Ft. Worth. We looked at the people in those pictures and marveled at how much we had changed - we were so young and naive. Among those pictures was a very skinny and freshly out-of-the-closet Chris. Jef chuckled as he looked at the picture and said something about what a Queen he was even then.

To me, Chris will forever be that young man I knew back then. His dark hair just so, looking back over his shoulder as he was driving us around somewhere in his wee little car. His long, lanky limbs hanging out from under the covers on his bed as he slowly woke up on a Sunday afternoon and then took forever to get ready so we could go to "The Black Eyed Pea" for lunch. His stereo always blaring some black woman singing be it Tina Turner or Black Box.

Chris - rest in peace, sweetie. In my memory you will always be forever young.
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Every year I watch the Grammy's and every year I wonder why. Except this year. It was one of the best Grammy's I've seen.

The highlight of the whole show for me was seeing a bald Melissa Etheridge singing her ass off during a tribute to Janis Joplin. I hadn't seen or heard about Melissa since it was revealed that she had breast cancer and when she walked out on the stage I couldn't help but tear up a bit.

How brave of her to step out on that stage! So much of a woman's identity seems to be tied up (no pun intended) in her hair, and losing it is very scary. I know this from watching my Mom as she lost hers. My sister and I tried to make the situation as light hearted as we could, but it was still traumatic for all of us.

...but I digressed...

The tribute song for the Tsunami victims was not that great, but I hope that it generates the money that it is intended to.

As Alicia Keyes and Jamie Foxx sang their rendition of "Georgia On My Mind," I couldn't help but pray that Jamie Foxx remains humble. He is so talented in so many ways and I hope that he doesn't let it go to head to the point that he starts doing silly things. However, hopefully since he is out of his 20's, that will work in his favor and he'll stay on the (semi) straight and narrow.

Was it me, or did the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony duet fall really flat?

I was so surprised that John Mayer's "Daughters" won Song of the Year! It's not a bad song, but Song of the Year? I'm not convinced. This is from someone who actually got to witness the "birth" of John Mayer's big time music career and really likes him.

I really enjoyed the opening sequence, especially when you had the Black Eyed Peas singing "Let's Get It Started," Maroon 5 singing "This Love" and Los Lonely Boys singing "Heaven" all at the same time. It was cool how they blended.

I also was really impressed with Mavis Staples, Kanye West and The Blind Boys of Alabama when they blended their styles and did a little R&B, Gospel, and Rap Opera of sorts.

Queen Latifah didn't do a bad job being the host and I think she did a really great job when she sang a song from her "Dana Owens" album. She looked really pretty, too! I hope her stylist is getting paid well because they did a good job!

That's my take on the Grammy's. If you watched it, what did you think?

:-)
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Sure, you see all of my favorite blogs over there in the sidebar, but I'd like to tell you a little bit about why I like them and find them interesting. Check 'em out! Leave them a comment and tell them I sent you!

Beastmomma is the blog of the saucy JC. She is of Indian heritage and it's always interesting how she tackles dating in her own way, despite the urgings of her parents to hurry up and meet someone to marry.

Big White Guy is the blog of a Big White Guy from Canada living in Hong Kong with his beloved wife Mabel. It's interesting to see how unique Hong Kong is, as well as how similar they are. He's also a great photographer!

Cult of Jef is what my friend Jef calls his blog. He is an excellent writer and has a very unique view of the world. It's always fun to read what is on his mind. I've known him for 17 years and I'm still amazed at what his mind comes up with!

Dooce is a really hilarious woman telling stories about her life with her husband, baby girl and dog. Although I really enjoy her funniness, my favorite posts are the ones she writes to her daughter. The last one I read left me in tears - kinda like a Hallmark commercial.

Ladybugeeb is the blog of ErinB of N.O. She is very insightful on many subjects and for some reason, always makes me think of lyrics to songs. Currently she is sharing with her readers about her experiences being a part of Mardi Gras!

My nephew belongs to the blog called "Lost Somewhere In Texas" (aka Lost...Where Am I?). Should I be alarmed that my nephew doesn't know where he is? Probably not since he's currently a full time student and pretty much working full time, too. I'll begin to worry when he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. I believe he still has that knowledge.

One of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet in the blogosphere is MrBob at "Just A Middle Aged Guy." He's a former "man in blue" who blogs about his thoughts about all sorts of things. One of the many things I love best about him is that he comments on people's comments to him.

I started reading "Picklejuice" because I felt like I had to like a blog that is the name of my favorite hang over recipe. However I've continued reading Natalie's blog because she's really clever and witty and sometimes makes me want to cry.

Ramblings of a Redhead is the blog of my beautiful, talented and sweet Sister. (Can you tell I love her just a little?) She writes a lot of funny stuff, and occasionally posts some pictures. However, when she really shines is when she is writing her stories or poems. Our Mom would be so proud! I know I am!

Lujza is the author of "Thoughts of Mine." She is a lovely, overworked, and underpaid Canadian woman. Not only does she have her own business that she runs from home, but she is a stay at home Mom...AND she still finds time to blog! Amazing!

Written Inc. is the writings and pictures of Carmi Levy. He is a professional writer and his writing really draws you in. He's got a great eye for photography as well. He's from Canada, and I'm not sure what is is about me and Canadians! ;-) By the way, he has Gmail invites to share. Just comment on his blog!

Yayaempress is a good Louisiana girl that moved to New York City. She writes about her life and links to fun and odd things, and is the #1 cheerleader for her husband's improvisation group, "Quiet Library."

These are my friends, (and I do consider them my friends) and they are all wonderful and special in their own way. Give them a visit, comment on their posts and tell them I sent you!

:-)

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Natalie over at Picklejuice is celebrating her birthday today! Go on over to her place and show her some love! She doesn't have any comments, so you'll just have to ESP your love, or send a smoke signal of your love, or send her an email of your love, or travel up to where she lives and stalk her with your love or somethin'. You're smart! You'll think of something!

OH! I know! You could leave a comment here and I'll pass them along to her!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATALIE! I know this year is off to kind of a rough start for you, but I believe this is going to be a WONDERFUL year for you!

:-)

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I have been having the weirdest dreams lately, and all of them seem to have something to do with celebrities.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt that Star Jones decided to have a second wedding in Atlanta, and I had been picked to not only be a Maid of Honor, but to sing at the wedding. Most of the dream, I was running around trying to find the right outfit to wear. It seems the other bridesmaids were jealous of me so they kept hiding things from me. Then I couldn't find Star to ask her what song she wanted me to sing. Then I had to run around and find the musicians and make sure they had the music.

Last night I dreamt that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were living in a travel trailer in the parking lot of a Publix grocery store. Throughout the dream I was either making fun of them, or feeling sorry for them, but never both at the same time. Poor ole Kevin was trying, though. He left mid dream to find a job and I never saw him again for the remainder of the dream.

I also had a dream that Oprah had adopted many children and had assigned me to babysit them over the weekend. The first day, they were all fine, but the second day, they were suddenly teenagers or older and were sneaking out. One of the children was Christina Aguilera and she was doing naughty things in a hot tub and drinking martinis. When Oprah got back, I told her about all of the shenanigans and each "child" got called up to her lavish dressing room for a "talking to." The other children waited in the marble dining room. As they were all sitting there, the pet elephant came in and gave birth to a baby on the floor. Will Smith, who was sitting at the table even though he wasn't one of Oprah's children, said, "Well, that's why the elephant has been acting so weird!"

OK...from this, you might say that I watch a little too much Entertainment Tonight, or that I ate something right before bed. Believe it or not, neither of those are true! I have no idea why I had those dream or where they came from!!!

Anyone care to analyze my dreams for me?

:-)

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