Conversations With A Woman 2.0

OK...I've kept my mouth shut for too long...

...I can't continue without saying something about it! Do you know the chocolate milk ads? The ones where the little girl is on a pogo stick with chocolate milk in her backpack while her brothers wait patiently, or the one where the guy packs some chocolate milk in dry ice and mails it to himself, or the one where the guy intentionally defaces a bar code so that the woman scanning it will scan it over and over again...Those ads?

IS THIS NOT THE EPITOME OF LAZINESS? OH. MY. GOD. Every time I see one of those ads I'm just amazed. However as I write this, I realize that I've fallen into their trap by talking about the ads. Rascally advertising bastards!!!

One of my all time best friends is in advertising. He's a copywriter at a very prestigious NYC ad agency. When my Mother found out when we were younger, that J was going into advertising, she was so disappointed. She put advertising folks on the same level as car salesmen. When Mom told J this, he had the perfect comeback. He said, "Ms. M, I'm not going to be the 'Larry Tate' kind of ad guy, I'm going to be a 'Darren Stevens' kind of ad guy." That seemed to satisfy Mom. She never said another word about it.

Today was a glorious day! After all the rain and the dusting of snow we had, it was so nice to walk outside to a "clear as a bell" sunshiny day! I got in my car and I had it on WCLK - Clark Atlanta University Radio Station. They play jazz all the time. I really love listening to this station. This afternoon's show was Afro-Cuban jazz. MAN! That's some stuff that can make you dance! I was doing some serious booty shakin' salsa in my car as I was driving! It was wonderful!

Now, I know she's not African, nor Cuban, but whenever I listen to that type of music, I always picture myself as Rita Moreno. I'm not sure what her exact heritage is, but Rita Moreno is one of the most beautiful Hispanic women I've ever seen. Especially in "West Side Story." I loved the movie. It saddened me that they could not find a Hispanic woman to play Maria. Instead they dyed Natalie Wood's hair, put dark make up on her and she lip synched to another woman's singing. Nothing against Natalie. I love her work as well, but why have a white woman play a Hispanic woman? Ahh...but it was the times, wasn't it?

Man...my thoughts are all over the place today, aren't they? Well, I think me and my thoughts will close for now. I hope that wherever you are it's a glorious day, if only in your mind's eye.


|

Yes, it has been a long time since I've written...

...but it doesn't mean I don't love you! I just have not been feeling like anything that I would have written would have been very positive. I try not to spew negativity into the world if I can help it. This business of being unemployed does not make it easy to remain positive.

The best way that I can describe how I've been feeling is this: Imagine yourself in a pitch black dark room. Then imagine taking a flash photograph. The light from the flash is blindingly bright. The pitch black dark room is how I've been feeling, and the "flashes" are something wonderful that someone has done for me or said to me. Unfortunately, the flashes don't last very long and I'm left fumbling around for a light switch again. I will find the light switch come hell or high water, but it's been a little difficult of late.

I have had so many people that have taken the time to call me, email me, take me to dinner, pray with me and for me. I feel very very blessed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Last night there was a little excitement here at the house: For some reason or another, my cat Shelby likes to visit me when I'm (ahem) "using my litter box." She'll wander in and jump in the tub and wander around and jump up on the ledge of the tub and talk to me and such all while I'm "using my litter box." I've tried to remind her that I don't do this to her when she's using her litter box, but she doesn't seem to care.

Like a lot people, I have a plethora of reading material on the back of the toilet. Occasionally Shelby likes to jump up there. Well, last night she did that, and apparently the force of her jump slid all of the reading material, as well as her little furry butt off the other side of the toilet. Because it's such a LONG trip to the floor from the back of the toilet, she immediately sinks all 20 of her claws into my flesh to catch herself. However she felt herself slipping, and she grabs into my flesh even more. Finally she drops the "dizzying" 6 inches to the floor and walks off like nothing just happened. Needless to say, after I finished my litter box business, I was nursing wounds from my shoulder to my thigh.

This morning, I woke up and I had kicked the covers off my feet. I was turning over and by doing so, startled Shelby, and I have claw marks in the top of one foot and the side of another.

I hope I don't get "Cat Scratch Fever!" That would not be pretty if I grew a beard and wore only a loin cloth and played electric guitar. If that should happen, please avert your eyes and call for medical attention.

Maybe Shelby is trying to kill me? It would really suck if I bled to death at the paws of Shelby Davis.

Until next time....

Au Revoir, Pee Wee! Au Revoir!
|

This makes perfect sense!

You're The Poisonwood Bible!

by Barbara Kingsolver

Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both
isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people,
but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since
you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and
tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be
Belgian.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

|

Quick! I just put the cookies in the oven!

No. That's not code for anything. It's actually the truth! I love ready bake cookies and I decided that I would write a blog for the time that it took for the cookies to bake. (13.5 mins)

I FINALLY got the information I needed to file for unemployment. It came via Fed Ex this morning. I went down to the Dept. of Labor (DOL) this afternoon and got all set up. They are some efficient folks down there at the DOL! I was in and out in less than an hour! Wish me luck that my claim will be approved!

I was talking to my sister last night via IM and to pass the time between responses, I "Googled" her name. (Is "Googled" in the Dictionary yet? If "Bootylicious" is, it seems like "Googled" should be!) Someone with my sister's exact legal name is a President of a College in California! Now, the reason that this is so amazing is that my sister's whole first name (everyday she goes by a nickname) is not common at all. So add this unusual first name with her last name and my eyes were popping out of my head!

The story that Mom told me about when she named my sister was that she wanted her to have a really original name that not just anyone would have. Mom and my sister's Dad thought long and hard and came up with what they thought was the perfect name. On the way home from the hospital with my sister, Mom and my sister's Dad passed through a "less than reputable" part of town, and there splashed on the marquee was a featured stripper with my sister's name. Mom says they about swallowed their tongues.

I love my sister's name. I always have! The only time that I didn't like it was when I would hear her ex husband use her full first name to call her from his recliner to do something he was totally capable of doing, like finding the remote or cleaning out the ashtray. If you haven't noticed, my feelings for my ex brother in law are not very pleasant. To say he was the Spawn of Satan would be an insult to Satan. No, I didn't care for him much.

My name, on the other hand, has challenged me my whole life. My name is spelled one way, but pronounced another. On the one hand, I'm proud of my name because I am named after my grandmother. On the other hand, I'm forever having to tell people the correct pronunciation of my name. Today I got kind of a thrill though! When I went to the DOL, I just told the lady at the front desk that my name was the same as how it is spelled. I figured that it would save on confusion. However when my name was called by the orientation person, she pronounced it correctly! That doesn't happen very often!

Back to Googling: I googled myself and someone with my name is an accomplished poet. I googled my nephew and he is married to a woman named Stacy and has a Real Estate company. In addition, he was an accomplished soccer player, and wanted to "dazzle the kids of West Philly."

For you folks out there that miss playing with paperdolls, there is a website where you can dress up a doll with all sorts of hair, clothes, accessories and shoes. Check it out!

Alright, the cookies have come out of the oven and have cooled sufficiently. It's time to settle down with the cats and watch today's episode of Days of Our Lives. Woo Hoo! What a life I lead, huh? ;-)



|

I got out of town for the weekend...

My sister and I had been talking about it for a little while and on Friday afternoon, when we both did not have plans for the weekend, my sister volunteered to give me some gas money if I drove up to visit her. I jumped at the chance to spend time with my sister and get the hell out of Dodge. (aka ATL)

I drove up Friday night and was on the phone the majority of the way. I called almost everyone in my cell phone's address book because I find driving is the perfect time to catch up with friends. Don't worry, I had my headset on! The majority of the people that I called were not at their phones, but I really enjoyed the people who I did talk to.

I got my directions from Microsoft's Maps and Streets 2002. Everything was really good with the directions until the last approximately 10 miles. I was driving through this residential area and was being instructed to get on Old Lexington Rd and go 3.2 Miles and then go 3.0 miles on Lexington Rd. I got so confused that I turned around and was headed back to the last place where I knew definitely where I was. I pulled over to the side of the road and was squinting at my directions when a Sheriff's deputy pulled up beside me.

Me: (as the window is rolling down) I'm lost!

Officer: (Laughing) Yes, you are!

He was a very nice man and told me that Old Lexington and Lexington were the same road and gave me more precise directions to the turn off to my sister's street. I turned back with renewed determination, and drove right up to my sister's house.

Saturday we woke up, got dressed and headed for Greensboro, NC. Marti was in quest of thigh high hose. We were on a mission. We went to the mall and Marti found some at Victoria's Secret. We split a "Special Combo" at the Chinese place in the Food Court and walked around a bit. Every damn body and there dog was there. It seems everyone put their Valentine shopping off until the last minute!

Off to Target we go where we find some more thigh high hose and stockings and a garter belt. Marti throws them into the basket so she can try on and see which is best. While we were in Lingerie, I spotted some '70's inspired thong underwear. They were orange and pink and yellow and too groovy! Marti threw those in the basket, too. She hasn't really enjoyed thong undies in the past, but they were cute. What we women will go through just because something is cute!

Now, my sister is artsy in a very visual way. She's a photographer and an artist. She takes great pains to decorate her home to be very visually appealing. I, on the other hand, enjoy and appreciate art in it's many forms, but usually only as a spectator.

So, Marti and I are standing on the shower curtain aisle at Target. I'm already out of my element. You want to hang something more than the plastic liner up? Wow! There's a concept! Marti is trying to explain to me her plan for her bathroom (the one attached to her bedroom) and the guest bath and we are trying to find shower curtains for both. I point at all the things I like which is bright and bold. "That's very Joan-like," she responds, "but that doesn't go with the living room and I want the bathroom and the living room to match." Then I began to get the different themes of the different bathrooms mixed up and, let it suffice to say, I was no good in helping Marti out with her bathrooms. However, she now has a very good idea of what I would want in my bathrooms should I win the lottery and actually decorate mine. I felt like such a "guy."

I did however find a t-shirt that they had in the Valentine section that, if I had a man in my life, I would have bought. It said, "I may not be too smart, but I can lift heavy things!" That made me giggle.

After Target, Marti wanted to go to this place called "Priscilla's" I knew it was going to be an interesting visit because the huge sign that said, "NO ONE ADMITTED UNDER 18 YEARS OLD." Oh Lord...

Don't get me wrong - I've been to sex shops in my life. I've gone with friends and I've gone by myself, but NEVER WITH MY SISTER! You could tell it was Valentine's Day because the place was packed! I was trying to be cool - I walked around and looked at all of the merchandise. Marti pointed out a couple of "things" that were interesting to her. My head was screaming, "THIS IS INFO I SHOULDN'T KNOW!" but on the outside I was smiling and nodding. We got separated in the crowd and I wandered up front and tried to find something to focus on other than I was with my sister in a sex shop. I settled on studying lube and watching a young man study lube. Alas, my sister emerged from the crowd with a couple of items to purchase, she checked out and we left.

As we walked back to her truck, she looked back at me and asked me what the look was on my face. Not being able to hold it back any longer, I blurted out, "I don't think I should be in a place like that with my sister!!!" She responded by saying, "We spent the whole day shopping for lingerie and you even picked out my thongs and you had a problem with this?" Sheepishly, I said, "Yeah..." We couldn't help but laugh. I'm usually the one who "coaxes" people, kicking and screaming, into places like that and here I had a problem with being there with my sister. Go figure! I'm sure it will be less traumatic next time. However I'm OK if next time doesn't come any time soon!
;-)

After we got back to her house that evening, we had dinner and she surfed the net while I channel surfed. Both of us were doing things we would have been doing if the other person wasn't there, but it was just a lot more fun doing these things together. She was patient with my going back and forth between SNL and John Mayer on Austin City Limits, and, after the day we had, I asked no questions about where she was surfing on the net. (tee hee hee!)

Sunday Marti let me sleep in and then fixed breakfast. We were getting cleaned up to go to a movie when we made the mistake of turning on the Weather Channel. They were predicting sleet, freezing rain and snow and then 3-5 inches of snow overnight. There was a heated debate between the responsible part of my brain that knew I needed to get out of there before the weather got bad, and the other part that said, "So what? Stay and play with your Sissy!" Begrudingly, I listened to the responsible part of my brain. However I did stick out my lower lip and whine, "It really sucks being an adult and having to deal with pesky consequences!"

I tried to call people again on the way home. The one person I really wanted to talk to was not available. Hopefully she'll call me back.

I love my sister. She is one of the absolute best people in the whole wide world. I am so thankful that she lives closer to me now (5 hrs vs. 10 hrs) but I wish she lived even closer.

Have a great week everybody! Call your sister and tell her your love her!

|

I really love Fred...

For those of you that don't know, Fred is my 16 year old female cat. No, Fred is not short for anything. Before I got her, I just decided that my next animal would be named Fred. Then along came this tiny little orange striped ball of fur that happened to be female.

Fred can tell when I'm very sad and lonely. I didn't realize this until a few years ago when my roommate pointed it out to me. When I'm especially depressed, Fred does not leave my side. She is either on me or beside me at all times, with the possible exception of when either of us go to our litter boxes.

I left the couch to come to type this and she is already at my feet. I'll get up from here and go to bed and she'll be there with me in a matter of minutes. She'll come to the top of the covers to look at me and then she will settle down at my feet or on my hip for the night.

Shelby, my other cat, is sweet too in her own way. She's been letting me hold her for longer periods of time than usual. She's been talking to me a lot, too. She's a naturally talkative cat, but she's been talking more lately. She's been sleeping on the bed more, too.

I wake up in the middle of the night and I reach out and touch both of my little cats. Fred purrs and Shelby meows and then we all go back to sleep. Despite what it may seem, I'm not as alone as I think I am.

|

Random thoughts out of nowhere...

I went to see "Big Fish" this afternoon. I really shouldn't have spent the money, but I justified it by the fact that I've been cooped up in this house. Yes, I know, not a good excuse, but...

I really enjoyed the movie. Very melancholy, but in a hopeful way. My sister got paid a compliment after she saw the movie with a friend. The friend told her that the Ewan Mc Gregor character reminded her of my sister because she's always going places and trying new things.

I was thinking that there have been times when I've told stories of my growing up and people have thought I was embellishing my stories. Honestly, I never was! Truth is stranger than fiction!

I noticed something after the movie. Everyone is in such a hurry to get out of the theatre after the show. I am not one of them. So about 1 minute after the movie was over, there was about 4 couples, all of which were over 50, and me left sitting in the theatre. I wanted to hear the song that was playing because it was nominated for a Golden Globe. When the song was over, the credits were still rolling and I slowly made my way toward the exit. The 4 couples were still sitting staring at the screen. I wondered what they were thinking about. Were they really that interested in knowing who Ms. Lange's make up artist was or who the gaffer was? ("Betty, that was some fine gaffing - let's stay and see who it was! Bill! Look it was George Smith, just like you said! You sure do know your gaffers, honey!")

I left the theatre with the 4 couples sitting there and went to the restroom. I got on the elevator to the parking garage with the couple that I recognized as sitting in front of me. I started to ask them what they were looking for when they were watching the credits so intently, but decided that this could remain a mystery.

I wandered over to "Borders Books." I love getting an armful of magazines that I would never buy and sitting and reading them. For me this usually includes, People, In Style, Barbie Bazaar and a couple of interesting looking music magazines.

I settled into a comfy chair and began my perusing. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a group of kids that were not old enough to drive, but old enough to be dropped off at the movie theatre and bookstore. There were 2 guys and 3 girls. They were sooo cute! They were all flirty with each other and a little too loud and had absolutely no interest in anything in that store but each other.

They were sitting in the same grouping of chairs that I was in and there was the ever important ritual of the boy stealing something of one of the girls. I think it was a barrette. I saw something whiz by my head when it got thrown away from the girl. About 10 minutes later I got up to leave and one of the boys said, (somewhat sarcastically, but somewhat sincerely) "Ma'am, did we disturb you?" I replied with a smile, "No! Not at all!" It was so funny because you could tell by the look on his face that he was not expecting that answer at all.

I walked outside into the cold air and saw the beautiful full moon. There were a few wisp of clouds that were gliding in front of it. It was just gorgeous.

I have had this quote that I found out so I can see it this week. It reads, "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." (Albert Camus) Pretty cool, huh?


|

Having Faith Is A Good Thing

If you read my blog regularly, you know that I've been having a bit of a tough time of late. I was fired January 23, and I'm trying very hard to find employment. I've let everyone in the world know that I'm looking for a job and to keep me in mind.

I have had so many encouraging emails and phone calls. People just saying, "Hey, this sucks and know that I'm thinking of you." Those words have kept me afloat when it would have been so easy just to drown in despair. Thank you to those of you that have done this for me.

I have felt the thoughts and prayers of those that maybe have not sent me an email or called. These thoughts and prayers have kept me up and going when it would have been so easy to just stay in bed and sleep 20 hours a day. Thank you to those of you that have done this for me.

Tonight I went to dinner with a friend of mine that made me laugh when I didn't think I wanted to laugh. My heart felt a lighter after our meal.

Tonight I got to talk to a friend of mine that heard the panic in my voice, knew what was at the core of what I was upset about and was able to put my mind and heart at rest. Now I can go to the interview that I have tomorrow and not smell like desperation. Instead, I can go into the interview with my head held high.

I am a very lucky woman. I have amazing friends and family. I thank God for them every day of my life.

I have faith that I will make it through this "bump in the road," and come out the other end a whole lot stronger.


|

Gonna have you naked by the end of this blog!

First off, I'd like to say, HELLO DIEGO FROM CHILE! Thank you for putting yourself on my guest map! That was a very nice surprise!

If you haven't added yourself to my guest map, please do so. The link is on the right. Just scroll down.

OK...I'm going to talk about Janet (Miss Jackson, if you're nasty) but not about the now infamous boob shot. Instead, I want to talk about the fact that, aside from when her boob was exposed, she had on too many clothes. She's dressing kind of like she did when she was doing the "Control" or even the "Rhythm Nation" album. The rumor is that she has gained weight. GASP! She's a size 8 instead of a size 2? Whatever will we do?

G pointed out today that is just silly because big butts are in! Look at your Jennifer Lopez's and your Beyonce's of the world! I agree, but unfortunately, the press and society will generally tear you a part if you try to be anything other than what they want you to be. Very, very sad.

G also pointed out that Justin Timberlake's song ends with the line, "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song." OOOHHHH!!! Suddenly I understood why people were thinking this was staged and not so innocent. Sometimes I'm really oblivious!

OK...I know I said I wasn't going to talk about the boob thing, but I've got to say something here. I was reading MSN's little news thingy and came across this in an article: Federal Communications Commission chief Michael Powell said in a statement, "Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration. Instead, that celebration was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt."

What?

Did Mr. Powell not see the ads that surrounded the Super Bowl? Not the least of which was a Bud Light Ad that shows a horse farting and catching a woman holding a candle on fire, or a Chevy ad where 8 year old boys are getting their mouths washed out with soap for saying, "Holy Sh*%?"

I'm not trying to defend what happened with Janet and Justin. I just think there was a lot of other "...classless, crass and deplorable..." things going on that people didn't give a second thought to. Not just during the Super Bowl, but every day.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

|